Overcoming the Pain of Childhood Loss

This was a conversation I had in a chat session today...

Jane: As an animal caregiver, if Malfoy gets lonely, I can Ferret-sit also :P

Phillip: I'll keep that in mind.
though he's usually pretty good left by himself.

Jane: You've trained him well, have you? Better watch it. Heartless Bastahds (editorial note: that's "bastard" to everyone that isn't in New England) become lovable when exposed to animals. Especially injured animals :P. L8r.

Phillip: Not a CHANCE!

Jane: lol!

Phillip: Besides, I had animals as a kid.

I had a pet gerbil named Snooper. Little bastard up and died on me - I was crushed. I was waiting on the steps for my dad to come home so I could take him to the vet because he'd been really lethargic for the past day. I kept thinking - if we could have only gotten there (to the vet), he'd be OK (before he croaked)- or he would have still been alive (after the fact). I was devastated over that little rodent. Never again. Closest thing I have now is my computer mouse - that's all I need thanks!

Captain - There be whales here!

Well, it was time. Time for me to open myself up for the derision of the masses, for those with whole other people living inside their bodies and longing to be free! Yes, I'm officially a whale. But inside of me somewhere is a slender person that's trying to get out.

I, officially, weigh more than I EVER have in my entire life. I think that I'm around 187-188. (sorry, this bathroom scale is a little variable) Which you may be thinking - that ain't to bad! And I'm thinking - I should be around 155! So, I'm freaking FAT!

Have I always been this way? Hell no! In college I ran cross country. Even at age 43 (just 3 1/2 years ago) I was fit and trim. Heck, last year before I messed up my knee and had to get surgery I was a good 20 lbs or so lighter than I am now. (See picture of me slim here!)


But... A couple of factors have caught up with me. Time (hey, at 46 it don't come off nearly as easy as it goes on - know what I'm talking about?) and lack of time. I have allowed myself to be controlled by all the forces around me, compromised my diet and I haven't worked out. So, it's all my fault. And, therefore, I am taking full responsibility. And now, it's time to fight back!

So, what can I do? I can do what I've always done. Kinda. Here's the reality - at 46 the pounds do NOT melt off like they used to. And, I don't have the time to go out and run like I used to, nor can my body take that kind of pounding anymore. (Ask my chiropractor, he'll tell you). So, I'm going to modify my diet and I'm going to work out. I'm going to take the best of what I've learned in all my years and I'm going to make it work for me. And if you're interested, you can make it work for you too!

What I'm going to do is create a new blog to track what I'm doing. There's going to be a public record of my success on the journey. Why? So that you can have success too! I hope that once you see what I look like now and what I'm going to look like in a few months you're going to be inspired! I'll tell you all my secrets (if I have any) and tricks. If you're interested, come back and find out more!

PS Shortly there will be pictures of my corpulent self here (along with one of me skinny!)