We Interrupt our Regularly Scheduled Programming...

At 10:21 life was very normal. At 10:22, life - and death - took on a new meaning.

In that minute, my phone rang and I was told that my nephew was dead. Killed in a car crash. As I was to find out later, he was killed because he had been in an argument and left in anger. And then, I can only hope, was just driving in anger and lost control of his car, hit an abutment head on and had his car burst into flames.

At 10:21 I was making some dessert for my wife and I. At 10:23 that dessert was looked at in a totally different light.

Unfortunately, I can't say that this ending to my nephew's life was wholy unexpected. It was part of the sad story that made up his life, including his stormy relationship with my sybling, and the story of my sybling itself which is so unreal that it couldn't be sold as fiction. No one would believe it. Heck, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is more believable as fiction or real life.

It's not to say that my nephew won't be missed. He will be. Honestly, my wife and I were dazed. He was our favorite nephew. He was the one we all thought was the sweetest, had the most natural charm. He had a great sense of humor and was gentle. But, alas, with everything that happened around him, most people didn't know that about him. Unfortunately including my sybling - his parent.

My nephew's life had become a roller coaster. In therapy, stealing, lighting things on fire. Off to a special school for 6-9 months, back again, admitted to a pysch hospital, then, drugged so that I almost didn't recognize the bright mind with the sharp wit that I had come to know. A couple of years of that, moved to a state and back again in a week with his parent, then sent to a school that you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy. Let's just say it is safe to assume he had no role models there.

Finally, it all cumulated in a tragic argument and reaction that ended his life. All that flashed through my mind in a minute. Hello 10:23.

Of course, there's still my sybling. This was not their sole responsibility. Did they play a part? Sure, just as parents we all play a part. No, this decision was that of my nephew. His alone. As for my sybling, now they have to deal with the guilt of loosing a child with which they never knew peace. It's not that they didn't try, but alas, their vision to deal with the issues, their capcity to even recognize them was always compromised in some way or another. It wasn't a lack of love, but it was love that, for whatever reason, just never made it through. And now, they will never have the chance again to try and fix it. I hope for my sybling, they will find peace. I know that God waits for them and promises to give them that peace if they only ask. I hope my sybling can get past any and all of the issues they are dealing with and see they can ask. It's never too late. God's arm is never to short. He is there ready and willing to enfold them in his love.

Ah, it's 11:00 now. For me, what remains is sadness. I'm sad that my nephew never got to be what he could have been. He would have been brilliant. I'm sad that my sybling is dealing with what they have to deal with, in regards to my nephew and just their life in general. It's sad because they do have so much to offer as well.

But for now, weeping is for the evening, but joy comes in the morning. No, I don't think my sybling will be filled with joy in the morning. They have to much to do this week to deal with this tragedy. But joy can come. Assuredly, it can. Grace and mercy are there to meet them and help them on the road.

And so, for me, it's off to sleep. Good night nephew. A last good night. I hope that in the moments before you crashed, I pray, that you called out to the God that loved you, the one you knew in your youth, and now you rest in his arms - away from this turmoil, in perfect love and perfect peace, at rest finally in his presence. If that is so, then I know that someday when I at last say my last good night to this present world that you will be there, with the Lord, to greet me. I know that would bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart (yes, I think it would be the frosting on the cake I guess - as if being in the presence of the Lord won't be enough!) You are special, and you will always be in my heart. Good night.