Saturday, October 29, 2005

Hazards of the Manicured Hands

OK. I'll admit it, I haven't had a manicure recently. But, I still keep my hands in pretty good shape. After all, my hands are my life. I spend so much time on a keyboard that my fingers must be appropriately moist, stretched, limber, strong and have nails that are healthy and the proper length. Ever try typing with nails that are too long? That's a pain for sure. But anyway, I mentioned hazards - so I have to tell you.

In my case, it's the hazard of washing my hands to much. As well as being metro, I'm also a BIT on the hegenic side. And, as it's now winter here where I live (see previous post), then danger of washing my hands freqently is that my hands start to dry out. And then.... horrors! Finger splits. It's like nature's version of paper cuts except for in much more uncomfortable places. No, not those places - on my fingers. Gezzsh.

Anyway, so I found myself in a cunundrum. What the heck do I do for these things. The first thing I tried was moisturizer. Well, it was OK. BUT, I still had to wash my hands.

After that I tried bandages. I guess those could work OK, but the hazard of being a metro (and fun) dad with three little chicks in the house is that I don't have a single bandage that (a) was the size for an adult, and (b) didn't have Dora, Boots and Swiper on it. OK. I'm lying. I had two with the Scooby Doo! characters but they were still too small.

OK. So. Moisture. Bandaid. Still no luck. What's a guy to do? The answer?

Liquid bandages.

I just found this stuff at the drug store (our local chain is CVS). Basically, you just paint the bandage on and it's waterproof, flexible and breathable. Seemed like it was worth a try to me! When I opened the bottle it seemed to have a familar scent to it. I was having a tough time placing it, but there was something familiar.

So, I take the applicator brush, drag the sides on the top of the bottle to get off the extra, then I paint it on the split in my finger with a nice even stroke to make sure it applies without caking or glopping. Then BOOM! It hits me! Where have I seen this before? NAIL POLISH. Yup. Clear nail polish. It looks like the same stuff that you can also fix a run in your stocking with (well, OK, at least keep it from getting worse) also turns out to be a great invisible and liquid bandage! And for this I just paid $4.99. Damn. If I had known I could have just used my wifes!

Well, we all live and learn, right? Now you know too. Of course, I'm not going to swear that they're the exact same thing but boy I'm telling you, it's got to be close. Still, now I've spent the $4.99 I'm going to keep using what I have until I don't have anymore - then I'll read the nail polish bottle. Maybe if someone out there already read their polish bottle then can let me know ahead of time. ;-)

Till then, remember, when you use the emory board, only go ONE way!


CyberGal said...

Now, you've gone and done it - CyberGal is upset, having a hissy fit, with my panties in a bunch! I'll admit it, when it comes to being feminine, I score low. I'd rather program, than do my nails. I do housework for a living. You think your hands get dry... ? Just re-apply lotion after each hand wash. When my hands start to crack, chapstick, or petroleum jelly works groat (wear overnight and keep your hands in thin plastic gloves.)

I've gotten used to the idea that EVERY male in my life, seems to know more about being a girl than I do, but this is the last straw!

Use an emory board in ONLY ONE DIRECTION, says who? Alright, Mr. Wizard, Why? This is beginning to undermine my very sense of female-ness. Do you perform pedicures, pluck your eyebrows or powder your nose? (I want pictures.)

Its alright, I'm going over to a friend's house tomorrow and volunteer to wash and wax his car. (You think I can do good on a bathroom, wait till I get through with your car.) It will look good enough to steal!

MacPhilly said...

Hey Cybergal,

First off - listen. There's a reason why I'm metro, you get that right? I'm not doing anything to undermine your sense of femininity . Being feminine has nothing to do with nail care - though I have to admit that I love it when my wife has nice nails.

Secondly, here's why you only go one way with the emory board...

"Never saw back and forth across the free edge as it can disrupt the nail plate layers and lead to splitting and peeling.  The ideal shape of the free edge should mirror the shape of the cuticle, i.e.: an oval cuticle = an oval free edge."

Third: No, I don't perform pedicures. Ewwww. No way I want to mess with someone's fungal feet. Nor do I get pedicures - I'm way to ticklish on my feet.

Fourth: No I don't pluck, I have no need to. No uni-brow here.

Fifth: No, I don't powder. I don't use any foundation on my skin. I do on occasion use cover on the dark circles under my eyes when I've been bad and went to bed way to late and need to present something or have a big meeting. In most cases I can get away with a bronzer. The rest of my skin is evenly oily, so I make sure to stay away from most exfoliating products (there are alternatives) because they just crank up the oils more.

I wish you weren't on the other side of the country - I'd love to have you work on the BMW mobile studios - I need an interior detailing something fierce!

Hope that helps :)